1. |
Writer's Exorcism
04:46
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Today, saw them crucify someone.
The other ropes, they came undone.
Cackles of these hyenas,
As little lamb begin to fall.
Little lamb begin to fall.
Chased down just to hang ‘em back up again.
Trying to take their piece!
I’ll just kiss the earth, and write another page.
Ink spills,
Ink spills out black and white portrait, laugh at his ears.
Bless this verse.
Bring sun for moon,
Bring eternal peace of dark.
I’ll exorcize it on,
Write it on,
This page.
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2. |
Mildred
08:13
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Another Wednesday, if I’m still keeping track of time.
You’re still dreaming.
Maybe you’ve dreamt this whole world up,
Maybe I’m just a dream.
Somehow things keep getting worse.
Blood in the streets,
They shot up city hall and Mayor Engen’s house.
It’s been twenty one days,
You’re still bathed in 3 streaks of the sun’s rays.
Brown hair now golden in light.
I named the hole Mildred too,
Because I was sinking in you.
Everyday I hope I’ll wake, next to you.
And I’m never gonna’ sleep again.
And I’m never gonna’ sleep tonight,
If I dive in head first, maybe we’ll live again.
I’d take you far away from here.
I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.
I pray to god and hope he hears.
I pray he’s real, pray "save us all".
I fear my judgment but it’s destiny.
I could see the burning hands in pillars of flame.
And as they turn, they turn to ash, I know,
I must bring you to safety, and live forever in your dream.
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3. |
Drifter's Dream
02:02
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There are only the violent dreams of a man who brings death with him here.
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4. |
Schrödinger's Song
04:09
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Relax, sit back, and crack a smile.
Laugh and wonder what good is a song that no one will hear?
This cursed world, giving life to things just to watch them disappear.
I should’ve been a pair of ragged claws,
But instead I know too much, too much.
I’ve seen too much, too much.
Children weeping as they’re beheaded by savage laughing men.
Children weeping as they hold cold mothers.
We blow a kiss and it’s lost in the wind.
I try to hold on to the carousel.
In a dizzying hysteria of light,
I find I’m god,
And I hurt myself,
For my own sin of creation.
I’m beginning to lose my grip, sweetheart.
Love is a beautiful fleeting thing.
It’s all I want but I fear it’s a gift on borrowed time.
I laugh at my paper mache perils.
As they rattle in the wind.
And they laugh too.
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5. |
Ceiling Fan
03:05
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A dull ache, the sinking feeling in your chest when you look at the horizon. You know peace now, but you also know it will not last. What’s happened in this room? Who’s been here? Where have they gone? What have they suffered? The now dull hum of the obtuse ceiling fan spinning round and round, in circles, recounting the things it has seen. Memories transient, but carried by the dust in the air.
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6. |
Crucifixion
07:58
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The angel on a cross.
Nailed palms disemboweled.
Spilling fluids that congeal into cracks.
The still body marries the wood,
And I am relieved.
Dancing in foreign rhythms forming patterns,
Only seen from above,
As we play with the flames.
Simply at play with each other.
Nowhere to hide in the sunlight.
On horses now blades drawn.
Unblinking eyes cast down their gaze.
"Run!" climbs out of my mouth and I laugh.
I enter into the deep tunnel of my mother’s cavern,
And I have one question,
Are you here now?
I’m born again for the tenth time,
And I’m atop my horse on the other side.
A cacophony of hilarious abortion.
The sky is crying a blood red,
I feel the ghost of midnight rub my crooked fangs.
Snort, look up at the sky, smile, and sigh.
Maybe I’ll be next but I don’t care.
They’re still running, but they’re finally getting the joke.
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7. |
Sun
06:47
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I found evil today,
I found it in the Order of Bellinzona,
Father prays to cleanse this earth.
There should have been rioting in the streets.
There should have been guillotines.
He presses the book back into my hand.
Revealing things unseen.
Under robes in the moonlight,
Slit throats hid helpless screams,
Sacrifices to bring endless dreams.
Blood on canvas to form effigies,
That brought us to the core of the sun.
“Are you not the apostle?!”
(I am)
“You will carry the righteous sword!”
(I will)
“You will carry out the will of the lord.”
(I will)
“You will bring this ending of things.”
(I will)
Maybe I could just sleep,
And pray to be saved.
Things are never that easy,
Lulled into a deep deep slumber,
I eagerly await genocide,
And fall into the laughing jaws of the serpent.
No longer!
I revel in the pain.
Lucid frequencies align.
They ebb and flow,
In my skull.
As I draw my gun,
I realize all the things I loved hurt me.
Now I submerge myself deeper,
To conjure pleasure out of pain.
I remember what the father said,
"You must carry our song, for the sun!"
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8. |
Judgement
02:49
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Stay!
Submit!
Repent!
Stay!
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9. |
Writer's Death
10:08
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Look into your loving eyes,
One more time.
If only we had more time.
For a moment I could picture it,
The smell of Grandalla.
I come down to earth but I know,
Heaven exists and it’s in you.
You pet my head as I draw some breath.
I shoot into the stars.
And I know Heaven exists and it’s in you.
You pet my head as I succumb to death.
No control over fate,
sorta' whisks you away.
No control over fate,
It's carved in stone.
No control over fate,
look into the mirror,
see myself,
And I know it’s time.
Meant to fall down this abyss.
Maybe I'll supernova,
And feed the roots of a bright new world.
Something new is born.
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10. |
Plunge
07:49
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When the sky stood still,
And the sun never fell,
That warehouse on the hill,
Had all but disappeared.
No, it grew into a black void in the ground.
Well, when we could live forever,
Perhaps the black hole bookended time.
I knew you’d only be mine,
And everything I’d dreamt had no limit,
Until I grew tired of my own existence,
But never of you.
We could never die, never age again,
Never grow, never wither, never bend.
So what was the point?
Some cannibalized themselves for the thrill,
Some plunged into the black hole at the end of time,
It’s such a great weight to be the final men,
When really we’re all just looking to God,
As lost children, praying for some fictional salvation.
I wonder if it was a test, or just the equilibrium of it all.
When something ends, surely something begins.
Trapped here, you’d think it bliss,
Yet I fear we’re better off swallowed by the abyss.
We reach the warehouse on the hill,
You are awake now,
It’s odd how still the source of the violence really was.
I remark as I grab your hand looking at the horizon.
As my attention to the gray sky fades,
I meet your jade eyes,
And I understand you’re ready.
And as we step into nowhere,
Locked in an embrace,
In the darkness
I’ll keep you warm,
I'll keep you safe from harm.
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11. |
The Hole
02:46
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In endless dreams we’re free,
To make the same mistakes.
You know the fates cut this fabric.
Madness, writing in circles.
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Mildred Los Angeles, California
It ends how it begins--
Yeah yeah...whatever.
Mildred recommends:
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